Mmk..i guess..tonight im like in this wierd mood n i guess ive never resorted into writing blogs..i know its time consuming..but i thought..meh..why not. ^^.. Anyways, ill intro myself..
My names Aimi..im what..16 turning 17..i live in australia..mum japanese dads aussie..so referred to as half..IF people actually can tell. Which..leads me onto my rant :D! If anyone could understand where im coming from..it would be awesome :)! Plz excuse my generalisations..it would be lovely to get others opinions

-k..firstly..expectations of being half white/asian..ppl expect u to be pretty..u look it up on google or something..quotes are like "Just wanted to say that White-asian kids come out beautiful! ..." and "Top Asian modeling agencies can't stock enough mixed-blooded girls, and many have begun scouting for Eurasian models in Europe and the U.S. to bring back East"..
*Just looks. So what if mixed bloods are good looking like Maggie Q

or Eiji Wentz (hes nice..cant complain)

Its all well and good if u are..but whats happens when u dont feel that?
-Through many halfies ive met..(ok please excuse the term..my mum..when she last went to japan..told me tat ppl started saying double coz half was insulting..others get half-caste), many prefer one race over the other. This i feel is coz halfies dont have their own ethnicity..theyr one or the other. I also feel that its coz of the way they look. I know lotsa half asians what want to look more white when they look more asian..and i know white looking asians (im in this group) that wanna look more asian. Its perfect when u look half im sure..but wheres the balance to this.

Me: Ive grown up..being the only half asian girl around..ive never really thought deeply about being mixed till recently. Ive always experienced the expectations that ppl put on me..but it never really mattered..til now..coz ive met more halfs..i wanna know more about them (i know theres one out there that shares the same thoughts..its very comforting..i connect well with this person)..but..i feel most dont mind..To me theres is the white side and the asian side. Ive always been around asians..but..i look white. I feel i have more in common..then in my mind..the white ppl. B4, i liked being white looking..and i used to not like being seen as japanese..but now its completly diff and i donno why..i guess its the half balance thing. Around asians..esp in japan..Ppl donno i can understand or speak japanese..ill never be seen as a japanese, and with asians in aus..theyr mostly like WTF ur not HalF! White ppl the same WTF u cant be half Jap! And the fact that ppl call me Amy..even though its Aimi..i belived my name was amy till i was 13 yrs old..and now it just feels odd being called amy..when its not my name..u feel this constant outcastedness..u have ethnic groups..wheres the mixed one?

Maybe its just my insecurities.. ppl say that i look fine etc..but..maybe they havent seen the others..i hear ppl say 'halfs have it better off''..maybe some do..'ur lucky coz ur half'..is this all surface talk? Is it coz i look happy or the way i look is accepted in a white sosiety? Or is it just my friends trying to make me feel special? Do i feel aggitated because i compare myself super models because i donno many mixes? It all comes to terms..that..every ethnic group has these insecurities..experiences racism..preference..so next time i here..something liek..halfies have it better off..its supposedly the surface (not saying halfs are the best looking, its a stereotype, some dont look mixed-hence half)..and i hope ppl try and share these feelings so i can understand myself more..or others can understand the ignorance they have towards halfness.